"How do I feel when you are too tired to respond to me?"
"How do I feel when I reveal my thoughts and feelings to you on an issue, and you respond as I expected you to? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I fail at something? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when we are on a trip and get a flat tire? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when we are lost? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I/you have an accident? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I try to hold in my.... (anger, joy, disappointment, etc.)? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I find out, after the fact, that someone has lied to me? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I act (behave) when I am upset (angry or mad) with you? HDIF sharing this with you?"
"Do I keep my pain, hurt, or disillusionment to myself? Why? HDIF sharing this with you?"
"It is difficult to write about feelings. HDTMMF?"
"HDIF when I am given advice by others that I did not ask for?"
"HDIF when I realize that I am responsible for my own feelings?"
"HDIF when my plans for the day, a project an outing, etc., are disrupted? Describe your feelings in loving detail."
"HDIF when you bring up past hurts?"
"In what areas/ways do I think I am taken for granted for? HDIF about telling you this?"
"What disappointments have I kept to myself? HDIF sharing this with you now?"
"What things, actions, ideas, do I find the most threatening? HDIFAT?"
"How am I hard on myself for things I've done in the past? HDIFAMA? [7/23/96]
"How does success affect my self-image? HDIFAMA?"
"How does failure affect my self-image? HDIFAMA?"
"More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.' -Harold J. Smith Do I deny my mistakes or do I learn from them? HDTMMF?"
"What feeling in myself do I have the hardest time accepting and why? HDIF telling you this?"
"Am I smiling more now than I was three months ago? HDIFAMA?"
"HDIF when you greet me warmly after a tough day?"
"HDIF when I share an uncomfortable feeling with you?"
"HDIF when I see a characteristic of yours in one of our children?"
"HDIF knowing that today could be our last day to love?"
"HDIF about us when we hear our favorite song?"
"HDIF when you lost your patience with me?"
"HDIF when I am watching you and you don't know it?
"HDIF when you give me a sincere compliment?"
"HDIF rereading your 90/90 loveletter from our weekend?"
"HDIF when I think you are paying more attention to others than to me?"
"HDIF when you put the children ahead of us?"
"Do I still judge you and try to change your feelings in touchy areas? HDMAMMF?"
"What is my greatest fear about my death? HDTMMF?"
"When I realize I have hurt you, what are my feelings?"
"When I think about living without you, what are my feelings?"
"When you are passionate, what are my feelings? HDIF sharing this with you?"
"When I know you are praying for me, what are my feelings?"
"HDIF when we pray together?"
"HDIF about having God in our relationship?"
"HDIF when you express need for leisure time?"
"HDIF when we receive communion together?"
"In what way has our acceptance of each other created a new world for us? What are my feelings about that?"
"HDIF about your openness to me in our lovemaking?"
"HDIF when I am naked in front of you?"
"Do I think I release my anger and frustration appropriately or inappropriately? HDIFAMA?"
"What am I most disillusioned with in my life? HDIFAMA?"
"Recently, when have I felt the most alone? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I see you crying? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when I see one of my people crying? Describe in loving detail."
"What negative feeling do I experience the most? HDIFAMA?"
"How do I feel when you feel hurt? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when one of my people feel hurt? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when someone insults one of my ideas? Describe in loving detail."
"How would I feel about changing places with you for a day if I could?"
priest/religious question:
"How would I feel about changing places with one of my people for a day if I could?"
"How do I feel when I hear about someone who has been abused? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about making a monetary sacrifice so that others can attend a weekend? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about the role the pastor/priest/rabbi played in our wedding? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious questions(2):
"How do I feel about the role I play in a wedding? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about the role the Bishop played in taking my vows?
"How would I feel if someone threw a rock through one of our windows on purpose? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel about my time (or lack there of) for relaxation and entertainment? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when we are asked to do something, and I/we say 'yes' when I would rather say 'no?' Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about the way I spend my spare time? Describe in loving detail."
"Lately, have I accepted your feelings, merely tolerated them, or rejected them? HDIFAMA?"
priest/religious question:
"Lately, have I accepted my peoples feelings, merely tolerated them, or rejected them? HDIFAMA?"
"Lately, my biggest disappointment has been... HDIFAT (besides disappointed)?"
"How do I feel when I realize I've done something thoughtless and hurt you? Describe in loving detail."
"The thing I most fear is... HDIF sharing this with you?"
"How would I feel about the idea of having to spend Christmas without you? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel being around a room full of children? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about all the Holiday bustle? Describe in loving detail."
"Are there any hurts between us that I need to be healed of before our relationship can continue to grow? HDIFAMA?"
"How do I feel about the way we spend our Holidays? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about our current level of involvement with our families? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about our involvement with our church and the activities there? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about your/my/our involvment with work? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when we cry after watching a movie together? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when we have to work together on a project? Describe in loving detail."
"What are me feelings knowing that that somewhere, there is a weekend going on right now? HDIF sharing this with you?"
"What are my feelings about this week in the modern world? HDIF sharing this with you?"
"How do I feel when you laugh at me? HDIFTYT (How Do I Feel Telling You This)?"
"What feeling is most likely to be the source of my anger? Describe the feeling in loving detail."
"How do I feel when you feel hurt? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when one of my people feel hurt? Describe in loving detail."
"How would I feel about changing places with you for a day if I could?"
priest/religious question:
"How would I feel about changing places with one of my people for a day if I could?"
"How do I feel when I hear about someone who has been abused? Describe in loving detail."
"When lately did I judge my feeling(s) was one(s) I should not have? Why? Describe the feeling in loving detail."
"I judge I cry... (freely, rarely, easily, etc.) What is _most_ likely to result in me crying? HDIFAMA?"
"Even though our masks are a barrier in our relationship, there is a reason we where them. They give us strength to deal with the world. If we can identify the strengths our mask give us, we can retain them when we lower the masks to be ourselves with our spouses. What strengths do I have because of the mask I wear? HDIFAMA?"
"What limits do I have because of the mask I wear? HDIFAMA?"
"How does my mask cause me to be a married single? HDIFAMA?"
"What fears do I have of growing old? HDIF sharing this with you?"
"Do I consider myself an optimist, pessimist, or realist? HDIF feel sharing this with you?"
"How do I feel when you bring me a surprise? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when one of my people brings me a surprise? Describe in loving detail."
"When am I most frustrated with you? HDIF sharing this with you?"
priest/religious question:
"When am I most frustrated with my people? HDIFAMA?"
"On the weekend we heard that feelings are neither right nor wrong. What was your reaction to hearing this on your weekend? What is your reaction today? HDYAMMF?"
"What was your strongest feeling today?" HDIFAT?"
"When I reflect on what a gift you are to me, I feel ____ ? HDTMMF?"
"What feeling haven't I shared with you this week because I thought you wouldn't accept me?" HDIFAMA?"
"To become more fully human and lovable and at the same time achieve a greater growth in my married life, how can I stop hiding my emotions? HDIFAMA?"
"To become more fully human and lovable and at the same time achieve a greater growth in my married life, how can I stop holding onto my fears? HDMAMMF?"
"I am most vulnerable when... HDIF sharing this with you?"
priest/religious question:
"I am most vulnerable when... HDIFAMA?"
"I am most confident when... HDIF sharing this with you?"
priest/religious question:
"I am most confident when... HDIFAMA?"
"How do I feel when you say "no" to me? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when one of my people says "no" to me? Describe in loving detail."
"I feel rejected most when... Describe in loving detail."
"I feel the loneliest when... HDIF telling you this?"
priest/religious question:
"I feel the loneliest when... Describe in loving detail."
"Do I hide my true feelings from others? HDIFAMA?"
"How do I feel going out alone at night? Describe in loving detail."
"Do I consider your feelings when making decisions that affect you? HDIFAMA?"
priest/religious question:
"Do I consider my people's feelings when making decisions that affect them? HDIFAMA?"
"Thinking about retirement, I feel... Describe in loving detail."
"What feelings do I experience when I share with you? HDMAMMF?"
"How do I handle my jealous feelings? How could I handle them more constructively? HDMAMMF?"
"How do I feel about the concept, 'Let go and let God'? HDMAMMF?"
"How do I feel when my priorities and actions are inconsistent with each other? HDMAMMF?"
"What are my feelings when I receive my partner's personal reflection and dialogue? HDMAMMF?"
"What am I doing to bring joy to our relationship? HDMAMMF"
"What makes me feel most united or coupled? HDIFAT?"
"How do I feel when I hear there is a big storm coming and you are not home? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when I hear there is a big storm coming? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I see you suffering? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when I see one of my people suffering? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I want to spend time with you, but you do want to/are too busy/etc.? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when I want to spend time with my people, but they do not want to/are too busy/etc.? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about our church? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about our home? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about our dialog? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about the coming Holidays? Describe in loving detail.'
"How do I feel about where we are this year compared to last year at this time? Describe in loving detail."
priest/religious questions:
"How do I feel about my church? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about my home? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about my dialog? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about the coming Holidays? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel about where I am this year compared to last year at this time? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I lose control over a situation? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when someone is making fun of me? Describe in loving detail."
"How do I feel when I have to apologize even when I don't think I did anything wrong? Describe in loving detail."
"I have difficulity sharing my feelings about _____. HDTMMF?"
"What are two specific areas in which I tolerate your feelings and how does this generally cause me to act? HDMAMMF?"
"What area is difficult for me to share my feelings about? HDIFTYT?"
"When over the last week did I not accept your feelings? HDIF telling you this now?"
priest/religious question:
"When over the last week did I not accept one of my people's feelings? HDIFAMA?"
"How do I feel when someone points out my failure or weakness in front of others? DILD.
"When you feel threatened, I feel... DILD."
priest/religious question:
"When one of my people feels threatened, I feel... DILD."
"How would I feel if someone else read my notebook? DILD."
"When others misjudge me, I feel... DILD."
"HDIF when I think I have hurt your feelings?"
"In what area do I most admire or respect your feelings?"
"HDIF when I reveal my innermost emotions to you?"
"HDIF when you seem annoyed with me?"
"What are my feelings as we begin this week? HDIFTYT?"
"How do your insecurities affect me? HDMAMMF?"
"What is the most difficult emotion/feeling I’ve shared with you recently?"
"HDIF about planning a holiday with you?"
"HDIF when I’m alone?"
"When I’m lonely, I think of _________ . HDMAMMF?"
"HDIF when I make encouraging comments to you?"
"HDIF when I see ‘thanks’ shining in your eyes?"
"HDIF about starting over again after a failure?"
"HDIF about revealing my negative emotions?"
"HDIF when you are late coming home from work?"
"Change makes me feel ________."
"HDIF realizing my attitudes and judgments have caused you pain?"
"Do I really believe that feelings are neither right nor wrong?"
"How would I feel tracing your face with my fingertips?"
"HDIF when we are intimate?"
"What kind of things frustrate me? HDIF when it happens?"
"Star bright nights stir feelings in me of ____."
"HDIF about your smile?"
"HDIF when we share deeply with those around us?"
"HDIF when you seem to appreciate me?"
"In what ways am I afraid to look ahead? HDMAMMF?"
"HDIF about going to bed angry?"
"When I’m hurt, I’d appreciate it if you would ________ ."
"I would feel special if _______ . DYFID"
"HDIF when I judge myself as inadequate, guilty, or unlovable?"
"HDIF when I react rather than respond to you?"
"Do I give and get enough emotional support? HDMAMMF?"
"In what ways do I feel I’m taken for granted? HDIFAMA?"
"HDIF when you shut me off?"