DIALOGUE

priest/religious question:
"Do my words touch my people, or role off them? HDIFAMA?"

"Have we changed enough since our weekend, that others have noticed the difference, too? HDIFAMA?"

"What area(s) of our relationship do I most often control? HDIFAMA?"

"If I were a musical instrument, which one would I be and why? HDMAMMF?"

"What do I have responsibility for that I would like to give up? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"What is my favorite city, and why? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"How do I feel when someone asks me to compromise a value I believe in? Describe in loving detail."

"How do I feel when someone falsely accuses me of something? Describe in loving detail."

"What aspect of myself do I still try to hide from others? How do I feel about my answer?"

"What general attitudes in others do I find most annoying? HDIFAMA?"

"How would I feel about trading places for a day? Describe in loving detail."

"What song most makes me think of you? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"Do I prefer grand ideas, plans, and dreams, or more achievable ideas, plans, and dreams? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"What piece of music is especially meaningful to me and why? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"Does our home reflect our values? HDMAMMF?"?

"How do I feel about your/my/our involvement with work? Describe in loving detail."

"The song that I think represents our love the best is... Why? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"Few things are as confusing as one who gives good advice but sets a bad example. Do I live the values I profess, or do I say one thing but do another? HDIFAMA?"

"Do I run more on a schedule, or just take things as they come? HDMAMMF?"

"Is (Was) our family (parents, children, etc.) being short changed by our Retrouvaille involvement, or are we setting a loving example for them? HDIFAMA?"

"Am I a different person with you than I am with others? If so, how? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"How does my mask disappoint, frustrate, or annoy others? HDIFAMA?"

"HDIF when you are driving and I am a passenger?"

"Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct.' - Thomas Carlyle Do I live out my convictions? Where do I need to improve? HDIFAMA?"

"Do I look for self-worth in possessions or activities? HDIFAMA?"

"Do I use alcohol, caffeine, or nicotine? If so, for what? HDIFAMA?"

"Everything and everyone has its beauty, but not everyone sees it. Do I look for the beauty in others, or do I look at the surface? HDIFAMA?"

"How have I changed since our Retrouvaille weekend? HDIFAT?"

"Do I think I have lost some of my independence since our Retrouvaille weekend? HDIFAT?"

"HDIF when I think about making a will?"

"HDIF about hugging other people?"

"What do I value most in my life? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"If I were asked to draw a picture of something representing each member of my family, what would I draw and why? HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question:
"If I were asked to draw a picture of something representing each member of my household, what would I draw and why? HDIFAMA?"

"Where would I like to go on vacation if I could go anywhere in the world? HDIFAMA?"

"How well do I live up to the dreams I had for myself when I was young? HDIFAMA?"

"If I could live my life over again, I would... HDIFAT?"

"How do I feel when someone takes up too much of my time? Describe in loving detail."

"How do I feel about my/our local community, or lack there of? Describe in loving detail."

"How do I feel about my self-image? Describe in loving detail."

"In order to solve a problem, am I more likely to use common sense or imagination? HDIFAMA?"

"How do I feel about the phrase, 'Each day is an opportunity for a fresh start?' Describe in loving detail."

"Do I try to control you sometimes? When? HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question:
"Do I try to control my people sometimes? When? HDIFAMA?"

"In what aspect of my life do I have the least peace? HDIFAT?"

"What aspect of my life brings me the most peace? HDIFAMA?"

"What does peace mean to me? HDIFAMA?"

"What causes the most friction between us? (Not conflict, but the little things that rub each other the wrong way.) HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question:
"What causes the most friction between my people and I? (Not conflict, but the little things that rub each other the wrong way.) HDIFAMA?"

"Am I more likely to put a decision off to the last minute, or make a decision immediately? HDIFAMA?"

"How do I feel when I judge you are better than me at something that I take pride in my ability to do? Describe in loving detail."

priest/religious question:
"How do I feel when I judge one of my people is better than me at something I take pride in my ability to do? Describe in loving detail."

"Would I rather work for somebody fair but not kind, or kind but not fair? HDIFAMA?"

"What TV shows do I watch most often? What does this tell me about myself? HDIFAMA?"

"Would people outside of our community be more likely to call me warm and sympathetic, or cold and aloof? HDIFAMA?"

"How do I feel about my physical appearance? Describe in loving detail."

"How do I feel about our time (or lack there of) for relaxation and entertainment? Describe in loving detail."

"How do I feel about discussing politics with someone who's views differ from mine? Describe in loving detail."

"What is the motivating force in my life? HDIFAMA?"

"I think I am best known for... HDIFAMA? (Since we wear different masks, and use different behaviors depending on where we are and who we are with, you could split this up for work, home, M.E., etc.)"

"One of my heroes is... Why? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"If we could go anywhere, where would I most like to take you? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"What is my favorite memory of us from last year? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"What is the greatest challenge we face as a couple?"

"If I were an animal, what would I be? HDTMMF?"

"Where do I see us 5 (10, 15, 20...) years from now? HDIFAT?"

priest/religious question:
"Where do I see myself 5 (10, 15, 20...) years from now? HDIFAT?"

"What is the wildest thing I've ever done? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"In what ways could I refocus my priorities to better serve my family, friends, neighbors, and God? HDIFAMA?"

" 'An admision of error is a sign of strength rather than weakness.' Is it easy or hard for me to admit my mistakes? HDIFAMA?"

"How well do I accept others outside of Retrouvaille? HDIFAMA?"

priest religious question: You can use the above one or...

"How well do I accept others outside of my parish, convent, etc.? HDIFAMA?"

"I judge I failed as/at... HDIFAMA?"

"This week, how have I been judgemental of you? HDIFAMA?"

"This week, how have I been judgemental of others? HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question:
"This week, how have I been judgemental of my people? HDIFAMA?"

"Does our home reflect our values? HDMAMMF?"

"What effect does music have on me? HDIFAMA?"

"How important are material things to me? HDIFAMA?"

"How do the attitudes and behaviors of others affect our relationship? HDIFAMA?"

"What is my favorite time of year, and why? HDTMMF?"

"I smiled today when I thought about. . . . HDIFAMA?"

"What side of me do I least like others to see? HDIFAMA?"

"I am a better person because of you. HDIFAT?"

priest/religious question:
"I am a better person because of my people. HDIFAT?"

"Am I a leader or a follower? HDIFAMA?"

"Why do I want to dialogue in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"What do I hope to gain in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like best about you in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like least about you in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like best about myself in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like best about us in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like least about myself in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"What mask do I wear in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"When am I least open to listen to you in the area of superiority? HDIFAT?"

"In the area of superiority what feeling do I find most difficult to share with you? Describe feelings in loving detail."

"Why do I want to dialogue in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"What do I hope to gain in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like best about you in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like least about you in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like best about myself in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like least about myself in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"What do I like best about us in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"What mask do I wear in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"When am I least open to listen to you in the area of use of time? HDIFAT?"

"In the area of use of time what feeling do I find most difficult to share with you? Describe feelings in loving detail."

"To become more fully human and lovable and at the same time achieve a greater growth in my married life, how can I be more myself? HDIFAMA?"

"To become more fully human and lovable and at the same time achieve a greater growth in my married life, how can I be more assertive?" HDMAMMF?"

"What do I most like to do in my free time? HDIFAMA?"

"How have I been separate from you lately? HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question:
"How have I been seperate from my people lately? HDIFAMA?"

"If I was stranded on an island without you, what one thing would I take to remind me of you and why? HDIF sharing this with you?"

priest/religious:
"If I was stranded on an island what one thing would I take with me and why? HDIFAMA?"

"Do I presume the best or worst about you? HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question:
"Do I presume the best or worst about my people? HDIFAMA?"

"My top priorities in life are... HDIFAMA?"

"How do I feel when I am not listened to, and then something goes wrong because of it? Describe in loving detail."

"When we first met, what made me want to see you again? HDIFA this now?"

priest/religious question:
"What first prompted me to think about the priesthood, religious etc.? HDIFA this now?"

"Do we challenge others to live their values? HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question:
"Do I challenge others to live their values? HDIFFAMA?"

"In which direction are we heading? HDMAMMF?"

"If I judge we are not heading in the right direction, what can I do to change it? HDMAMMF?"

"What difficulties are me most likely to experience when trying to make a hard decision? H DIFAMA?"

priest/religious question:
"What difficulties am I most likely to experience when trying to make a hard decision with one of my people? HDIFAMA?"

"What part of the day would I most like to share with you? HDIF telling you this?"

priest/religious question:
"What part of the day would I most like to share with my people? HDIFAT?"

"If I could travel anywhere in the world, where would I go, and why? HDIFAT?"

"How do I feel when I see you suffering? Describe in loving detail."

"What helps me get up and going in the morning? HDIF about this?"

"Am I more likely to look for the easiest way, or the right way? HDIFAMA?"

"What am I most likely to do when I waste time? HDIFA This?"

" 'Happiness is inward and not outward; and so it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are.' -- Henry van Dyke. HDIFAT?"

"Am I more likely to admit my mistakes, or try to cover them up? HDIFAMA?"

"Do I give or take too much from you/others? HDIFAMA?"

"What are my feelings regarding how I spend my time? HDIF sharing these thoughts with you?"

"How does dealing with my past make me feel?"

"How does dealing with your past make me feel?"

"In what situation am I most likely to use exaggeration? HDIFAMA?"

"So the Lord answers, "Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Even if a mother should forget her child, I will never forget you. Jerusalem, I can never forget you! I have written your name on the palm of my hands." Isaiah 49:15-16 What does this mean to me? HDIFAT?"

"Do I distort things to make myself look or feel better? HDIFAMA?"

"How do I feel when someone drops in unexpectedly? DILD."

"How do I feel when we work together to get a tough job done in a short time? DILD."

"What issue do we have facing us that I haven't shared my feelings with you about? What are my feelings about this issue? HDTMMF?"

"What do I see as your strengths? HDIF sharing this with you?"

priest/religious question::
"What do I see as my people's strengths? HDIFAMA?"

"What is my fondest memory of our early days together? What do I remember most? HDIF sharing this with you?"

"What can I do this week to make memories? HDMAMMF?"

"How do/would I feel if someone unexpectedly gave me a hug after a hard day? Describe in loving detail."

"Your most endearing quality today is _______. HDIF sharing this with you?"

"How do I feel about my current state of health? Describe in loving detail."

"In what area(s) do I compete against you? HDIF telling you this?"

priest/religious question::
"In what areas do I compete against my people? HDIFAMA?"

"What kind of compliment is hardest for me to accept? HDIFAMA?"

"How do I feel looking through a photo album or scrapbook? Describe in loving detail."

"Do I ever delay too long in making a decision and miss out on an opportunity? HDIFAMA?"

"When I think about all the couples and priest who made our Retrouvaille program possible, I feel ________ "

"How do I feel about telling others about Retrouvaille? HDIFAMA?"

"What about our lives would I like to change? HDIF telling you this?

"Where am I most selfish? HDIF sharing this with you?"

priest/religious question::
"Where am I most selfish? HDIFAMA?"

"How do I feel when I allow circumstances to make a decision for me? Describe in loving detail."

"How have you helped me to become a better person? HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question::
"How have my people helped me to become a better person? HDIFAMA?"

"In what area(s) do I consider myself superior to you? HDIFAMA?"

priest/religious question::
"In what area(s) do I consider myself superior to my people? HDIFAMA?"

"How do I feel about the current political atmosphere in my/our country? DILD."

"How do I feel when I see others suffering? DILD."

"What new awareness have I discovered in you this past week? HDIFTYT?"

"HDIF about winter weather?"

"Do you feel better enjoying the present or anticipating the future?"

"I look(ed) forward to celebrating this day with you because _______."

"HDIF when you hurt or when you’re sick?"

"If I knew we had no tomorrow, how would I live today with you?"

"Does my attitude change with the coming of spring?"

"What song reminds me of our relationship right now? HDIFTYT?"

"What makes our house a home?"

"What would be my idea of a good family outing?"

"WAMF about our family vacation time?"

"HDIF about the way we spent last weekend?"

"HDIF about getting other people’s advice for solving our problems?"

"What family memories of Spring do I have? HDMAMMF?"

"Who should we pass the gift of Retrouvaille on to?

"How do I feel about sharing the chores? HDMAMMF?"

"What was our closest moment as a family this month? HDIFAT?"

"How close are we as a family? HDIFAT?"

"HDIF when I call you up just to say ‘Hi’?"

"HDIF when I stop with you for ice cream?"

"When was the last time I felt complete inner peace? HDMAMMF?"

"How does the season summer, affect me?"

"How can I tell that you’ve had a bad day?"

"You cannot compromise another person’s right to be an individual. HDIFAT?"