Ashley Abramson Fri, March 26, 2021, 3:22 PM·6 min read
Trust can be a funny thing. Many say they trust their partner — but how many marriages fail because one person refuses to cede any territory to the other? Trust is often an especially significant struggle for new parents, when territorial instincts and anxiety come out and one partner inevitably says to the other, “but don’t you trust me?”
The truth is, trust can be tricky because everyone has their own version of it. It’s often assumed, or contingent on “well, you love me so you should trust me.” But trusting another person isn’t as easy as loving someone. Both building trust and restoring it are complicated, but essential, parts of building a healthy marriage and family.
So how do you build trust in relationships? Here are some of the important steps.
1. Align your words and actions
In any important relationship, trust will grow when your words consistently match your actions. On the flip side, if you do one thing and say another, you’ll form a breach. According to California-based marriage and family therapist Amber Trueblood, being aware of your actions and correcting them when your actions differ from your words can allow trust to form again.
Focus on doing what you’ll say you do and keeping your promises. “If you say you’re the most important person in the world to me yet consistently prioritize work and friends and time at the gym over your time with your partner, the disconnect between your words and your actions can seriously damage trust in the relationship,” Trueblood says.
2. Show respect
Respect, which can be conveyed in the tone of your words, the time you spend together, and the support you show for your partner’s feelings and interests, is another core component of building trust in a relationship. If you feel like your partner is struggling to trust you, rebuild it by showing you’re listening and prioritizing an emotional connection rather than being right – even if you don’t necessarily agree with your partner’s take.
“Listening and seeking to understand rather than question your partner’s perceptions can truly help restore trust in a relationship,” says Trueblood.
READ MORE: Building Trust In Marriage Takes Work. These 9 Steps Will Help You Do It (yahoo.com)