By Lisa Elliott
A lot of times people will tell you that marriage and ministry doesn’t mix. That one always trumps the other. No doubt, there are challenges along the way as you maneuver marriage through ministry, but it can be done! We’re living proof. This year my husband and I celebrated 25 years of both. While it hasn’t always been easy, here are 25 things we’ve learned that have helped us to not only survive—but thrive in both marriage and ministry.
Marriage and Family
1. Realize that opposites attract. My husband and I are different. We have different gifts and abilities, different passions, different personalities, and even a different approach to life. And we’ve learned that’s okay.
2. Expect your vows to be tested. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Mark 10:7-9). We need to remember that our spouse didn’t marry the church; he married us! And we need to commit to making it work. It’s hard work; but it’s worth it!
3. Guard your marriage tenaciously. “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil” (Prov. 4:23; 25-27). We need to build safeguards against the opposite sex and be each other’s radar.
4. God gave us children to enjoy, not just endure. “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him” (Ps. 127:3).
5. Choose to put each other first. An old saying says, “Happy wife; Happy life”! When we strive to put each other first (putting forth 100 percent rather than 50 percent) then it will make for a much happier marriage. “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself (Eph. 5:28, NLT). “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4).
Growth
6. Recognize that living things grow. We need to make sure to nurture our marriage and make continual investments in it in order that it remains alive and healthy. “I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow” (1 Cori. 3:6).
7. Understand there is no growth without change. As we grow personally, we change and our marriage will change as a result of it. And that’s not a bad thing. God is a God of “new” and wants to do something new in each of us. “And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new” (Rev. 21:5)!
Read more: Marriage Advice for Christian Women – Just Between Us